I Can’t Save Myself

by Morgan Harper Nichols (feat. Mac Powell of Third Day)

No one can accuse me on not trying to make the most of this hand I’ve been dealt.

No one can accuse me of not trying to move past all the pain and fear I’ve felt.

Turns out in the end that all my best attempts could never keep my weary heart from drowning.

I can’t save myself. I can’t save myself. But coming to my rescue is what You do so well.

And when my strength has failed, the story I will tell is how Your love refused to leave me on my own when I couldn’t save myself.



The Security Blanket


Linus van Pelt.  He is the best friend of Charlie Brown from the famous comic strip Peanuts. Linus is known to many of us for having a security blanket in tow anywhere and everywhere he goes.

My son has his security “blankie.”  Not one.  Six!   It started with just one – that one precious blanket that he refused to wash or be away from, which I somehow left in a vacation house out of town.  Not expecting to get it back, I got him a new one, and his grandma got him four (yep!).  So when the owners of that vacation house called to say they found my son’s blanket and would send it back, that made a total of six.

Much as I try, I can’t recall ever getting attached to any particular object as a child or even growing up.  What is the mystery behind such attachments?

Experts who have studied such behavior discovered that such “transitional objects” help individuals cope with change while clinging on to something familiar.    In my son’s case, he developed the dependence on the blanket when I started going back to work and he had to stay home.

It does make sense.  But when and how does it end?

While I try to understand my son and give him the space and time he needs, (after all, aren’t we all on the same boat?  At one point in our lives, we found that one thing or person that we latch on to like a barnacle); and while I am trying not to over-spiritualize this concern,  it is also my duty to give him a reality and spirtual check.

For the rest of us, whether we admit it our not, we also have our own  transitional object.  It could be an actual object we’ve been attached to since childhood.  It could be habits we developed.  It could be material possessions.  It could be careers that we’ve so passionately been building and working for all our lives.  It could be that best friend or spouse that occupied most of our hearts.  It could even be ourselves.

Looking at it that way, I did have my own share of “blankies.”

The bible calls it our idols.    An idol is anything or anyone that can satisfy our longings.  It is anything or anyone that consumes our emotions, time, mind, devotion and being.  It is anything or anyone that we run and cling on to make us feel better.  It is anything or anything that is not God.

Such idols need to be removed from our lives only by the grace and mercy of God.  Through prayer and constant feeding of the Word, God will slowly and surely reveal to us the idols in our lives and provide the strength to remove them.

Reference:  The Herald Tribune

Do Not Awaken Love


In all my years since becoming a Christian, I had only one desire: to serve God in any way I can, and to raise my son in obedience to His Word.

Each time anyone would ask if I would still consider marriage, my automatic response was to shrug it off and give a quiet “no.”   In my mind and in my heart, that option had already passed. It was clearly not for me.   That once upon a time dream and desire had been squished down so deep and I did not dare open the door again to hope. Sure there were tinges of envy each time I hear of a friend getting engaged and married. Definitely, there were indications of regret, having never had that piece of the happily married life. Sure there were traces of despair each time I go through another hurdle as a single mom.   But again, I made a conscious effort to not go deep into that forest of hope for fear that I would just be setting myself up for the fall.

Then he came along. It started with eye contacts to “hi-hello-how are you’s” that lasted for over a year. And then finally, after one bible study session at church, he asked me out.

Song of Solomon 2:7 and 3:5 says:

“by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”

That led to several movie and dinner dates. I was already smitten. My heart was slowly opening up. Love was being awakened.

There were times when he would hold my hand or put his arm around me. On one occasion, he impulsively kissed me before parting ways.

I think he was not prepared with how I reacted – surprised more than anything else. The following evening, he called. A quick apology and then came that dreaded cliché: He made a mistake. I was the right girl, at the wrong time.

That old familiar feeling of pain and rejection resurfaced.

But he wanted to still be friends.  Hoping that it would change one day, I agreed. We regarded each other as “best friends.” I knew it was a bad idea. And even when I was told that it is not what a Christian woman would do, I insisted on it.

The following months were filled with a roller coaster of emotions.  We regularly went out on “friendly” dates, being each other’s constant companion. However, expectations were not met. Hurtful words were said. Secrets were kept. Actions spoke differently from what we professed. Clearly there was something more than friendship but we would always deny and dismiss it for different reasons. Mine? I was waiting and hoping that things would change. His? I can only assume the worst but he knew I had feelings for him and still kept stringing me along.

Looking at my journal entries during all this, there were only two distinct states of my emotions and thoughts: temporal happiness or disappointment and frustration. Still, I held on in spite my better judgment, and especially in spite what God has been prodding in my heart. I hoped for happiness amidst the verbal abuse. I was clinging on to a potential happy ending. In the meantime, my self esteem plummeted, causing my anorexia and binge shopping to creep back from my past.

And so I prayed and asked God for me to do the right thing. And then it was revealed to me.  The man was my Egypt, my land of bondage and slavery. I needed a way out. I was too caught up in the friendship, that it took up so much space in my mind and heart.

I didn’t have the strength to do the right thing and walk away. And so I prayed even more. Sometimes with the resolve to stand firm. Sometimes negotiating with God to change his heart or that I be given the grace to cope. This battle went on from months!

I was too weak to fight this battle until I eventually stepped back and asked God to take over. And true enough, when He fights our battles, victory is a guarantee!

And so it came – the victory. With God stepping in, He orchestrated the events and did it all in one fell swoop.  It was not by accident that I learned I was not the only one he kept stringing along.  It was not by chance that God revealed the truth to wake me up.

The man is no longer in my life. And while there are still flames of the pain as I write this, I am confident that God will put my heart back together – just as He had done so in the past. And this time, I pray that there would be no cracks to pry open.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” (2 Thessalonians 3:3)

3 Things To Remember When Relationships End

(An article from theprayingwoman.com)

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Not by coincidence or chance, but for a purpose. The reason doesn’t always present itself right away, but usually it is for our good. Sometimes the reason is staring us right in our face but it’s hard for us to accept. Particularly when it comes to relationships or matters of the heart.

Relationships can be rough especially if we try to take matters into our own hands when God has already spoken. When a relationship ends it can feel like the end of the world for most of us. Whether it’s a friendship, courtship, or business relationship, it hurts!

Here are 3 things to remember when relationships end:

Your destiny is never tied to someone who walks away from you. 

Healing is a process. You can’t heal if you’re constantly speaking defeat over your situation. I’ve heard women say…

He was my one true love. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone else like him.

I’ll never love anyone as much as I love him“.

“He was my one shot at love and I think I blew it.”

He was my “soulmate”. There will never be another“.

Does any of this sound familiar? The funny thing is most if not all of the women I’ve heard say this are now happily married, engaged, or in a relationship with hopes of getting married. God eventually revealed His beautiful plan in these ladies lives, but not until they were ready. It wasn’t until they decided to lay their burdens down at His feet and trust His will. It wasn’t until they realized life goes on.

Read the rest of the article at theprayingwoman.com

The Father Knows Best

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!“ (Matthew 7:11)

It is every parent’s desire to give their child the best they can give according to their means. Sacrifices are made most of the time just to give the child their needs, as well as their wants—within reasonable limits, of course.

Have you ever observed how children ask their parents for something they truly need or desire? Children, in all their innocence, approach their parents with full expectation and confidence. How amazing is it that most of the time, children get something even greater than what they ask for? That’s because parents—in their natural inclination to give their children what they think is best—know what to give their children. And what they know is, of course, limited to their knowledge of what is good.

“Father” is an intentional name that God gave us to call Him.

This is an assurance that He will never give us what is bad for us. This is an assurance that He will always give us what will be best for us. As I read this particular passage over and over, a sense of peace and rest settles in me. Jesus encourages us to pray with impudence, showing that our heavenly Father is better than our earthly father for in Him, there is no evil. We take confidence in the fact that God is unlimited in His goodness—free from sin or weaknesses that our earthly father has.

As I further reflect on this passage, I am reminded: my heavenly Father is the creator of this universe; my heavenly Father gives according to His riches; my heavenly Father, who did not spare His own Son Jesus—how much more will He give us the smaller things according to His will.

So we, as His children, should come to Him with childlike faith, with importunity and boldness, in full expectation that our all-perfect Parent will give His best answer.


Today, God offers you the best gift there is—His loving care and presence over your life through the Holy Spirit. Come to Him and cast your cares on Him for He cares for you.

Homeschooling And The Single Mom

I homeschool my son. Yes, I do!

“But you’re a single parent!  How do you do it – with work and all? Where do you find the time and the energy?”

“What about his social skills?”

“Is it because its cheaper than sending him to regular school?”

These are a few of many other questions I get when I tell others of my son’s education.   As a bible-believing follower of Jesus Christ, it has always been my goal to teach him of God’s ways.   More than anything, my goal is to teach my son to put God first and glorify Him in all the things he does – and that includes his studies.

It was definitely not a one-time decision that turned into an instant success. There were more than a few bumps along that road – there still are.

When he was old enough to go to school, I was working full time so the only option I was open to was to send him to a regular school. After searching and asking for referrals, we landed in a Christian school near our home.  But that ended up being a disaster of a decision because my son’s teacher ostracized him for being the son of a single mother (I’ve buried that hatchet so let’s not go into the details).

So before the school year even ended, I opened up to the option of homeschooling. For those of you who are not new to homeschooling, you would agree with me that this is a scary venture.  For me, self doubt came into play. After all, what qualifies me to teach my son?

Then the Lord gave me this verse:

Train up a child in the way he should go;

After speaking and consulting with friends and other homeschooling parents, it was crystal clear. God’s design was for parents to teach their children.  I made the decision to pull my son out and continued the school year at home.  Classes were conducted in the evenings when I got home from work.

It’s been four years since the Lord led me to make that giant leap of a decision and although we’d gone through trial and error situations, it’s been a continuous and consistent journey of God’s grace and faithfulness.

I write this while I wait for my son as he presents his school portfolio to our Family Adviser. What has my son gotten out of homeschooling?


  • His love for the Lord continuously grows with a deep hunger for His Word.
  • He has a burden to share the gospel by giving out tracts.
  • In all the things he does, his primary motive is to obey God, do his best, and put a smile upon His face.

These things alone has already made our homeschool a success. While I cannot claim credit for my son’s faith and his walk with the LORD, I am grateful for having been used to influence his life. I am grateful that even at a young age, God has revealed His love to my son, which I pray he would remember and carry with him as he grows

How do I manage?  It’s a daily dependence on God’s strength!  It’s a constant dependence on His faithfulness to His promises.

I’d like to share these 100 Reasons written by Marianne Sunderland on why Homeschooling is good for families.  Click HERE